Day 39 (of 187) reminder that behaviours are communication
As I had the student in my office and was asking him why they _________ it is admittedly difficult to remain patient when you just want to know what is going on…..
Is it the after effects of a weekend (and don’t get me started about long weekends….the bane of much of my “days after a long weekend)
Did something happen that they are uncomfortable talking about?
And most important to me: why has their “baseline” changed…
And this change in behaviour expectations may be the most important piece to consider….
Why did the child who screamed for most of last week mostly “stop” this week….?
Why did the child who for three years “get sick” Sunday nights (especially at the end of those accursed extended weekends) “suddenly” go to school without argument….
Why is a child who has been “off my radar” suddenly visit the office three times for “I don’t know” reasons???
Behaviours are too often great distractions. And while I like trying to figure out the “why” behind certain behaviours (such as the student who refuses to talk about anything – until I start using yes/no sentences he can nod (or not nod) to) it’s the sudden “change in baseline” that worries me more… and then remembering that sometimes (almost all the time) we have to ignore certain behaviours because there is more going on (appropriate for Halloween season where there are so many movies/tv shows where as bystanders/audience we know: “don’t open that door!!!”
Kind of like the curse: it’s been a good day….. and the dramatic change that uttering that statement can bring…
Or it’s quiet….too quiet….(silence bothers me)
And yet there is the timely asynchronous tweet reminder: behaviours are a means of communication – especially for those who find words hard to form, or it’s hard to articulate what the thinking is, or they really don’t want to talk/deal with it – sometimes a suspension is easier to deal with than admitting something that may feel embarrassing.
So that child flipping desks…..is there something to talk about besides the safety issue….is this “the” way they know how to communicate? Is negative attention better than no attention?
Hey, if it was easy, everyone would be an educator!