Day 54 (of 188) Patience is part of Discipline
On my commute home, I was listening to a sports radio station, when a caller ‘went deep’ after the hosts encouragement, to share his experiences that connected to the Adrian Peterson situation (footballer suspended/charged due to his “disciplining” of his son). As anticipated, it got very emotional very quickly – talking about abuse starting so early in life always does. But he had experienced a great learning moment that he articulated as:
Patience is part of discipline.
And he’s so right. And I wish I could thank him for sharing his story and making this perfectly direct statement. Too often I used to (not now) try to “fix” a problem or “work” with a student right away; without giving them the time to de-escalate – to calm down. We talk about it at our school (with a goal on Self Regulation Awareness) as moving from a “red brain” (stuck) to a “green brain” (can work). And this came after a day where I had many students have to “visit me in the office”… but:
– using polykinetic sand as a kinaesthetic self-regulation device
– playing with lego (architecture is the best) to distract their brain and refocus
– having something to eat (#1 intervention….)
– not over reacting nor reacting too quickly
and then solving the problem.
The role of “patience” is a curious one. I know I have over-reacted (more times than I care to reflect on). I’m more mindful now in all areas of my life. Even today when my favoritest coffee mug (a minecraft-inspired starbucks mug given to me by my oldest daughter) crashed over the floor. My first “sight” was that she had bumped it to the floor – and once upon a time I might’ve been upset right away. But I was patient. It was actually me who mis-balanced the cup and she was reaching trying to save it. I almost wasted a good yell…;-)
It reminded me of one of the best references I recently read (and wish I could attribute the source) which goes something like:
milk spills. son looks at dad and swears and starts to tear up. dad says “that’s not what we say or do. what do we do?” the son looks up and says “I don’t know”. Dad: “we clean up the milk” son: “that’s it?” dad: “that’s it”.
That’s it. patience. one of the best “discipline” and “self regulation” tools to use. frequently.